Friday, October 1, 2010

The PowerPoint Sex List (sort of NSFW?)

 I'd like to apologize for the lack of funny in this entry.

Someone posted this link today on Facebook, I think, and it took me at least an hour to read all of it. For those of you who want a summary, it's a story about a typical college girl who is into typical college "bros" and her evaluation of the hookups. It was a play on some of the "fuck lists" that frat boys make all the time, and something that her and her friends could enjoy.

A lot of people are up in arms about it. Some argue that it's slutty (many pointing out that 13 partners is *gasp* whorish at best), some say that objectifying men as payback is not equality, and there's a good handful of people who praise her for what she did.

This is what I think.

Maybe it's because I didn't grow up in a close-minded area, but all the women I know have talked about sex--just as much, if not more, than the men I know. We talk about the good times, and the absolute worst times. And the bad stories aren't just about how the boys weren't "up to par", quite a few of them are when we ruined the entire rendezvous, and we all have a laugh.

Sex is one hell of a taboo topic. If a man creates a list like this, he's a chauvinistic pig in the eyes of all women, but he gets pats on the back from most of the guys. It's shocking to see that so many women and men think this girl is a terrible person for what she did--even though it was not meant to be seen outside of her friends group. Any woman who is able to be open about sex the way she is, admit that she had sex for the sake of pleasure, and have no regrets about it all deserves a fist bump.

I know lots of girls who were open about their sexuality, myself included. The names we got called just because we said "I hit that" to a passing guy were absolutely shocking, compared to what a guy would get called if he openly yelled out during a party all the girls he's had sex with. The social stigma that women are not promiscuous and ladies only "make love" are disgusting, and seriously damaging.

Now, for my negative comments...

I have a beef with her scoring system. No, not about the attractiveness part. I don't know why people are hung up on that, especially since she also factors in personality (and it's a one night stand, for Pete's sake). My issue is that she factored in their athletic ability--or even that they were athletes at all. It reeks of "groupie" to me, and it really put me off. But to each their own, I suppose. If I were to do something like this, I'd probably rank on musical tastes instead, and I know I'd have a blogger say, "What does that have to do with anything?"

The other thing was bonus points for accents. Wouldn't that factor into attractiveness? I know that it is a bonus to hear some "down under dirty talk", but in reality, it seems only one subject received extra points, while only one had extra points removed because of an accent.

And lastly, this is only my take on it, I'm very disappointed that she enjoyed the way these guys treated her around their friends. I'm no militant feminist by any means, and I know that boys will be boys and talking about a girl's boobs like they're a new Xbox game or something is commonplace. But to add points for a guy treating her like she's a walking sex toy is a bit embarrassing. She should've taken out personality entirely and just kept it as a strictly-sex thing and made the playing field level. But then we wouldn't have the hilarious and amazing stories we got out of it.

Is she objectifying men? Of course. But random drunken hookups are all about objectifying. You go out, get drunk, and find someone to fulfill your sexual desires. She wasn't abusing these men any more than they were abusing her. And I figure if it's a mutual "no strings attached" fling, then no real harm came from any of it. And as for the attractiveness part, it's simple science. Sex makes babies, and your brain tells you to find someone good-looking and fit to make your babies.

Ladies: what you need to take from this is that random flings and hookups are great. Fuck what society thinks; if you want to pounce on that hot guy like a Hunter on Ellis, go for it (just be safe!). Men: I hope this is a lesson to all of you out there. Women love to bang, and we love to talk about it. Maybe it also put things in perspective for you and how it feels to be on the other side of the fence.

As for my evaluation process, she gets a 9/10 for balls, a 6/10 for sexual performance (only one sober hookup), a 5/10 for writing (either go all science or all humor, no half-and-half), and a 9.5/10 for entertainment.

Raw Score: 7/10 (removed half a point for the regret of writing it).